The continuing saga of my love for Steven, in journal form

I am currently waiting for time to pick up my husband from work, the same husband who has been out of town for days but decided it would be best to just go straight back to work when he got back in town instead of coming home to say hello because he 'didn't want to confuse the children.'

I am not thrilled with this situation, but it's probably for the best because I more than likely would have spent that small amount of time trying to guilt him into blowing off work to stay home and take care of the kids so I could nap.  Not that he would have anyway, because his work ethic is something beyond anything I've ever seen.  But I would have tried.

So I've only got a little bit of time before Adele wakes up from her nap as I spent most of the time I had making apple turnovers.

Why, you ask?

Why not, I say.

(Actually they're for a get-together I'm going to tonight, but I actually can't ever think of when apple turnovers wouldn't be a welcome addition the day.  Unless you're diabetic cause these things are LOADED with sugar.)

But since I haven't posted a journal entry in awhile, I thought it was time.  This one involves Steven, so I'm going to let his name stand.  I included three entries because I didn't want to leave you hanging on the question of whether or not he really, really liked me, which consumed my thoughts.

Oh Steven.  How much my little elementary-school self loved you.

(You can find the rest of my journal entries here.

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9-8-92 (11 years old)

I 

❤ ed

STEVEN

(That doesn't do this entire page worth of hormonal angst justice.  Let's look at a picture.  Also, please notice how I wrote 'ed' after the heart.  As in, 'I loved him with all my heart and soul until he broke up with me and in order to work through my pain and also be technically correct in my journal because that's important, obviously, I will destroy my love with a hot pink pen.)

I don't really know if Steven really likes me.  On the 4th Jacinta said Jag said he only went with me because he liked my hair.  I don't really believe her.  I don't believe her.  I think she's Jealous (actually underlined that THREE TIMES but I didn't know how to do that on here.) with a capital J.

I think she doesn't think Stephen would ever go with someone like me.  I think she still hasn't gotten over him.  You see, she was going with him & he dumped her & he hated her afterward, or so she said.

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9-9-92

I really wish I knew if steven really liked me.

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9-10-92

Well, I found out if he liked me or not.  Steven broke up with me to go with Sasha.  I guess the worst part is he had Brayley come and tell me.  It really got me mad, but now, now I am overjoyed.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy about Steven, Sasha, or brayley.  I'm just happy.  I'm in love with life.

Today is a day to die for.  The sky is a light-blue color.  The wind is blowing quite peaceful, not enough to get cold.  I can't see the sun from where I'm at, but I'm sure it is a pale yellow shining bright.  I'm starting to get a chill.  After I get done writing, I'm going to do my homework, out on the roof where I am.  It's been about 40 minutes since that last sentence.  I've been talking to Jade.  Her mom is practicing singing in a band.  One of the singers son is there.  his name is Michael.  He is 13 years old, & has red hair.  I haven't seen him, but I think he might be cute. 

(I've always had a thing for red headed fellas.  Or gingers, if you will.)