Wednesday, March 4, 2015

He probably should have bought more beer

This morning we all had to get dressed and eat breakfast and whatnot by headlamp- and candle-light on account of the no power.

And this was, of course, after Adele got in our bed at 4 a.m. and wouldn't settle and be still and tossed and turned and kicked my stomach and caught my hair in her hand and so I didn't sleep.  She did eventually, of course.  I'm not complaining much, though.  This was still better than the usual time she likes to visit us at night.  Which is 1 a.m.

And then Sebastian came downstairs a little after 5 to tell us that the electricity was out which means that he was awake at that time and able to see his closet light shut off.  Which means what the hell is wrong with these children?

(They take after their parents, that's what's wrong with them.)

So we got dressed in the dark and ate breakfast in the dark and cajoled Adele into her clothes in the dark and then out of her clothes because she didn't want that dress, she wanted another dress but actually, not that one either.  Let's try the first one again.

And then as we were preparing to leave the lights all came back on so the grown ups went around the house blowing out candles while the children decided that it would be an excellent time to sneak outside in the pouring rain and run through all the puddles, liberally soaking feet and legs.

Back inside we went to change everyone again and find new shoes that didn't squish out buckets of water when stepped in.

Yelling may or may not have been involved.

(I was all for letting them spend the day with wet feet and pant legs but apparently that's not appropriate, JAIME.)

And we are also all planning for snowmageddon2015 No. 2 that is supposed to start this afternoon so I'm guessing we will have an unexpected day together tomorrow.  My husband volunteered to go to the store for us last night so we wouldn't have to worry about it for the rest of the week/weekend and he picked up the essentials like milk and peanut butter and beer.

I'm taking my work computer home today so at least I can possibly do something vaguely business-like in between playing in the snow and making hot chocolate and cursing the weather.

And sewing.  I bet there will be more sewing.

To make you smile, here is a picture of an entirely inappropriate t-shirt.  And now that song will be forever stuck in your head as it is in mine.  INAPPROPRIATELY.


I would like to spend the next few snow days with netflix and snacks because I just started watching The Killing and am absolutely addicted to it, but somehow I do not think that will happen.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

I mean, I understand. Tortilla chips are delicious.

I convinced my husband to go out for Mexican food last night which was a miracle from Sweet Baby Jesus as he (my husband) is incredibly strong and full of will power and we do not eat out because we cook at home because the food there is better and better for you and cheaper and we are supposed to be eating all the 'right' foods because that will make us invincible.

So I got a giant chimichanga and a big bowl of queso and have zero regrets.

Except maybe for the amount of tortilla chips I allowed my daughter to consume but win some, lose some, right?

So we went out to eat because neither one of us felt like cooking and I was exhausted from all the no sleep I'd gotten the night before and really I just wore him down.

I've found that if I ask enough times eventually one of those times he will say Sure!  Let's go out to eat!  Complete with exclamation marks because that is totally how he talks.  (Not really.)

And I can't even get mad at him not cooking because he will cook when I don't want to which leaves me no excuses to go out to eat.

But sometimes you just want a taco from a Mexican restaurant, you know?

Of course, since we did go out to eat that meant that I accidentally forgot about the meat I was defrosting in the microwave to cook and it set out all night so I had to throw it away this morning when I remembered.

But I'm still calling it a win because I didn't have to wash dinner dishes and because Sebastian only said the word 'fart' loudly in a busy restaurant three times.

And now I have to get back to work because I am the new Web Content Editor for our office, which means that I get to change up the web page when someone tells me to.  It doesn't come with a raise or even really the actual title but I still think it's neat.

Do these $3 reading glasses make me look web-content-editory?


Also if you look closely you can see my new star shirt so let's consider this a how to wear diy post.

You're welcome.



Monday, March 2, 2015

Coffee- and random capslock-infused vignettes

Sometimes I get locked in my closet/office because of a class or Very Important Test happening in the computer lab that is my lobby and I have a love-hate relationship with the isolation.

I kind of love being locked in.  No one will bother me - not that that is a very frequent occurrence anyway, but still.  I can hide and be alone and talk to no one and be an introvert.

However, I also hate being locked in.  And this is mainly because I have to pee a lot in the mornings.  Like a lot.  Like, I could pee every 7 minutes if someone made me pee every 7 minutes because of a weird need to force someone to pee every 7 minutes.

Maybe this has something to do with the amount of coffee I drink in the mornings or the amount of children I have birthed but the problem is there no matter what the cause.

And I could interrupt the test, I really could.  No one would be mad at me except probably the students who are bothered by me startling them because no one expects someone to burst out of a closet in a computer lab shouting "Oh I AM sorry!  Don't mind me - I just need to pee because I've had gallons of coffee and birthed two children who destroyed my bottom half and ha-ha!  You know what I'm talking about, don't you?  But I'll only walk through this once, I promise, except not really because I have THE SMALLEST BLADDER IN THE WORLD."

The students tend to lose their focus when that happens.

So I hide and squirm until the last possible second because I don't want to disturb anyone or cause anyone a slight irritation.

In other, non-bladder-related news I sewed myself another Scout Tee.  This one is made from polyester and is teal with maroon stars on it and really, could there be any better fabric choice?


It makes me smile.

My sewing machine decided it hated me this weekend and started breaking my needle thread and bunching up my bobbin thread and generally being an asshole.  And then it stopped because I blew some dust out of the bobbin area and I patted myself on the back for being an expert sewing machine repair person.  And then it started up again.

And in other-other non-bladder-related news Adele picked out her clothes this morning and insisted on dressing herself completely and actually wore the school jumper I sewed for her and even put on her shoes and had very specific ideas about how she wanted her hair fixed and ate her breakfast and brushed her own teeth and this was a definite Excellent Morning, especially after we had a ridiculous weekend full of both kids bickering and fighting and pinching and my in-laws took pity on us when we went to eat dinner with them and let the kids stay the night at their house.

Chris and I went home and watched House of Cards.

And then we picked them up on Sunday and they were still fighting and last night Sebastian pinched his sister really hard and when he was reprimanded he asked (yelled) WHY DID YOU EVEN GET ME THEN and was very upset about the fact that, as he put it, Adele used to be the one hitting and pinching and now it was him and WOE IS HE WHO IS 6 YEARS OLD AND SUPER TIRED.

And then Sebastian told me that some of our friends' kids said Adele was a jerk which is TOTALLY NOT COOL YOU LITTLE JERKS.

And then everyone was fine and we read bedtime stories and both children actually listened to me read the stories, which is rare because usually storytime is also wrestling time and Adele went to bed again without screaming and throwing things at my head as I walked down the stairs and this morning it was so hard to wake up because I didn't sleep very well and had a 4 year old in my bed laying on my chest but the she got herself ready and it made me happy and a little relieved and Sebastian got himself ready like he always does which makes mornings that much more manageable.

And we played I-Spy on the way to school like we always do and Adele picked the yellow sun like she always does and I picked the red sign like I always do and Sebastian picked the white snow like he always does and Chris picked the brown building like he always does.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Motherhood and More: Sewing toward spring*

I’ve been spending a lot of my free time sewing lately.  Or maybe I should say that I’ve been sewing all of the time and ignoring responsibilities in order to create my own free time. 
I become addicted to crafts seasonally, like clockwork.  Fall and winter are for knitting and spring and summer are for sewing. 
Now – I realize that it’s not yet spring.  Not even close.  There’s literally a foot of snow outside my door right now and my normal sewing space is drafty and freezing and has a great view of the cold through the frost-covered windows.  Not spring.
But I got an urge that I couldn’t tamp down.  So I gathered up a bunch of patterns and fabric that is stuffed in my over-flowing craft closet and set to cutting out clothes.  I cut and cut and cut, then I dragged my sewing machine and sewing box and all the thread I would need and camped myself at the dining room table and sewed everything  I could.
And I am not a neat sewer.  I’m not even sure if that is possible.  There are pins hidden in the carpet and scraps of fabric and thread everywhere throughout the house – helped along by children who like to ‘assist’ me in my sewing adventures.
I’ve sewn dresses for me and dresses for my daughter.  Pants for me, pants for both of my kids, and then more dresses.  I’ve hemmed pants for my husband and made plans for more shirts and skirts and pants and shorts and maybe more dresses.  Because  I need to do it.  Have to, even.  With each new thing I sew I feel that much closer to warmth and sunshine and humid days.  It’s like, spring is for sewing so it must be spring because I am sewing.
I don’t understand how my mind works, either.  I do the same thing in winter with knitting because apparently just by the sheer weight of all the new things crafted with my own two hands I can change the weather.
And it’s not that I really want time to move much faster – especially with children who grow at an alarming rate and who will be driving and voting and moving out of the house before I can say “stop that.”
But seasons always get me anxious.  There will be one day that is a sort of prologue to the coming changes – a cold and rainy September day or a mild and sunny day in February.  And it sets my mind on a new course.  For fall that means that everyone in my life will need all of the hand knits I can make.
And for spring, like now (almost), everyone in my life needs more shorts and tank tops and light pants.  And dresses.  Lots and lots of dresses.
So I will make them.  I will take breaks to feed people and perhaps do some coloring or puzzle working and maybe even actual work-working.  But then it’s back to sewing.
I’ve got people to clothe.
*This column originally published in The News-Enterprise on February 25, 2015.