Sebastian: Mom! There’s something in my butt!
S: No! You gotta come see! There’s something in my butt and you gotta get it out!
Me: Is it poop? (In my head: I don’t know whether to wish for it to be poop or to not be poop.)
Sebastian: No! Look! You gotta get it out!
Epilogue: He sharted. I got it out. The end.
(Being a mother is strange sometimes.)