Tuesday, May 24, 2011

He lost me after the prison toilet

There’s this show that comes on sometimes during the kids’ naptime called ‘Prison Wives.’  It’s on the Oprah Winfrey Network, so you expect it to be classy, I guess.  (Anybody else irritated that she has her own network?  And that it’s called ‘OWN’?  And that she puts her ‘own’ photo on the cover of her magazine each month?  Just me?  Okay.  Moving on.)

The premise, in case you can’t figure it out from the title, is women who have married men in prison, either before or after then went there.  It shows their lives now, which mostly seems to be spent finding ways to visit their husbands or trying to get their ‘wrongly convicted’ husbands out of jail.

Don’t ask me why I watch it.  I’ll watch pretty much anything.  Except shark shows.

So yesterday they had a man who was married to a woman who was in prison for life, no parole, because she was part of a shooting/dismemberment/crazy murder.  The man, her husband, was older and married to someone else when he started writing her (she put an ad online, naturally).  Apparently she was just too irresistible and so he divorced his wife and moved from Seattle to Tennessee to be close to prison lady.

Now, all throughout this he actually seemed normal and sane.  He was a retired pilot who liked to canoe, had a ‘good Catholic faith,’ and just seemed to truly be in love.

But then they showed the creepy mannequin.  In a wedding dress.  Set up in front of the window of his house facing the street. 

He just wanted a female presence in the house.

And then.  AND THEN, toward the end of the show, so close to it that they kind of glossed over it, they showed his bedroom.  And his shiny, metal, working prison toilet that he bought just so he could feel close to his wife.

So now I think that his wife, the one in jail for helping dismember a 19-year-old kid, might be just a little bit more in possession of her senses.  Not by much though.

I think I might stick to HGTV from now on.

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