A ridiculous amount of words about my hair

I spent far too many years of my life trying to grow my hair out.  

I’d grow it throughout the winter because it was easy and created a built-in scarf/shawl.  Even now during the winter I won’t hardly wear my hair up because my neck gets cold, even with a real scarf.

But it never failed that when the weather started warming up, my hair wouldn’t be long enough to put up and have it look like anything but an insane person who had a personal interest in bobby pins.  It would drive me crazy.  And so I’d cut it.  Sometimes it would look really good and sometimes it’d look like maybe I shouldn’t have just walked into the salon in JC Penney’s at the end of the day and let the only person left, an ‘elderly’ gentleman, cut my hair and make it look like he put a bowl on top of my head and trimmed around it. 

Ahem.

But as soon as I cut it I’d swear to myself that this time, THIS TIME, I’d finally let it grow out.  Then the cycle would start again.  The only reason my hair is long now is because when I went to Austria (9 years ago, oh my hell!) I didn’t trust my language skills well enough to brave a trip to a salon to explain what I wanted done.  And so once I suffered through the awkward phase it was easy to let it grow out.  And I never cut it short since.

And I’ve been DYING to cut it short.  For years.  And somehow in my old age I’ve become chicken regarding my hair.  For the most part I’m fairly relaxed about it.  I’ll get someone to chop some bangs, or dice it up into layers, but it always stays long.  And for the most part, when I have gotten actual hairstyles cut (as opposed to just trims), I can’t keep up with them because I’m a wash and wear type of girl.  I don’t have the time to spend fixing my hair, and I’m not sure that I would if I did.  And it’s worked for me; my hair has cooperated most of the time.  

So now it looks pretty much like it always does – long and slightly layered – though now I’ve got some bangs growing out that are in a weird place.  They’re too long to not be in the way and too short to stay behind my ears.  I’ve perfected the side French braid for them.  I may look like an idiot but at least they’re not hanging in my face.

And now the heat and humidity is here.  Since I wear my hair up most of the time now anyway, it’s got me thinking more and more about just chopping it all off.  It’d be so much easier to take care of and would cut my shower time in half, thus giving me more sleep time.  

And yet I can’t take the leap.  I can’t commit to cutting my hair short.  I have become too scared to do so and I’m afraid of the commitment.  My husband likes it long, I think, though he says he doesn’t care.  And it’s a security blanket for my kids.  When they’re tired or upset, both of them reach for it.  It’s so sweet and I don’t want to take it away from them.

But I don’t want to end up on one of those makeover shows with my family showing pictures of me saying I’ve had the same hairstyle for so long that they’re embarrassed to go out in public on account of my lack of fashion.  And I don’t want it to become a crutch.  It’s like, the longer I wait the harder it’s all going to be.

And so I can’t decide.  But at this point I either need to just do it or stop talking about it.  Because I also don’t want to end up like those people who talk about doing stuff ALL THE TIME, like tatting up, but never have the follow through. 

If I was going to get it cut, though, I’d probably cut it super-short.  Maybe something like this:

Or maybe this:

 Oooh!  Maybe this:

What do you guys think?