Things to do if your husband goes on a weekend-long canoe trip:
1. Flash the truck he’s riding in dirty looks as it drives away because you’re left alone with the kids. Again.
2. Realize that he’s probably just as worn out as you are, what with school and work and general life stuff.
3. Resolve to at some point plan your own trip away. With somebody. Sometime in the future.
4. Play outside with your son, but kind of realize that you’re not as fun when you can barely keep your eyes open.
5. Curse that husband again.
6. Watch a lot of Diego.
8. Aaannnnd that lasted 30 minutes. Luckily Adele also likes to nap with me so we took one together.
9. Worry about the trend you’re starting.
10. Don’t care. Need some sleep.
11. Pack up the kids, one of which only wants to stay home and watch Diego, and head to Target because at this point you all just need to get out of the house.
12. Wander the aisles, picking up random things and throwing them in the cart.
13. Oh look, earrings!
14. Let your son pick up a toy motorcycle because he’s been such a good boy.
15. Refuse said son the 139 other toys he asks for on principle.
16. McDonalds for dinner. Just cause.
17. Try to interest your son in the movie Babe because you’re certain he’ll love it since it’s got all these farm animals and he loves farm animals, plus you just spent $5 on it at Target, dammit.
18. Finally give up after 45 minutes of him asking to watch Diego.
19. Diego it is.
21. Aaannd she’s up.
23. Okay, it’s quiet. Nobody move or breathe or say anything.
24. Ah, wine.
25. Start to have doubts about that flowered headband you just bought.
26. Take a picture (actually take 43 pictures until you get one that only looks moderately stupid) of you wearing it and ask Facebook if you’re too old for it.
27. Consensus? Not too old.
28. Still feel a little old.
29. Especially since after that you get another glass of wine and sit in bed watching ‘Doc Martin.’ At 9:30.
|Red wine and British television. So not old.|
30. Sleep, blessed sleep.
31. 4 a.m. wake-up call from Adele. Have decided long ago that it’s just easier to put her back in bed with me so we all get some more sleep.
32. Sleep again.
33. Back up.
34. Rushrushrush to clean the house and pack up a diaper bag to go to my parents for a few hours.
35. Adult conversation and interaction!
36. Back home, where I wake up a sleeping Christopher who came back while we were gone and was able to take a nap uninterrupted.