Confessions of a mother who screws up repeatedly

I think I’m turning into one of those moms. 

The ones who don’t seem to have anything together, who mess up publicaly and embarrass their children. 

I didn’t want to, it just kind of happened.

When Sebastian started school I told myself that I’d always be punctual, would look acceptable when I dropped him off, would participate in whatever was needed for his class.

Three months in and already I’ve failed.  And it’s not just one thing.  It keeps happening and I don’t know why.  

I volunteered late in the game for the school’s fall festival.  They needed parents to work the craft booth, which I was happy to do, but I just wasn’t sure what time would work the best.  And honestly I thought it was on a Friday instead of a Saturday (because I didn’t read the newsletter thoroughly) and didn’t know if I’d have Chris with me to help with Adele.  So basically I just waited until there were only a couple of slots left and took one, the earliest.  And even though it was on a Saturday, we still were running to get there on time (5 minutes late).

I just don’t do a good job of getting everyone together in a timely fashion.

I’ve been almost late dropping him off twice, and, even worse, picking him up.  Once all the other mothers had already picked their kids up (because they are better than I am), and Sebastian made his teacher walk a little further down the parking lot so he could see me right when I drove up.  I MADE MY KID SCARED I WASN’T COMING.  I hate it so much that that happened.  I hate that I’m the way I am.  And it’s not like I procrastinate picking him up, it’s just that usually I’m changing a diaper, or feeding a snack or picking up the bibs Adele’s thrown out of the drawer in the kitchen for the 1045^th time.  But still, that doesn’t matter to him.  All that matters is that I wasn’t there when I was supposed to be.*

Last week the school had a little Halloween party for the kids during the day.  I didn’t read the newsletter all the way through, again, so I didn’t know that I was supposed to send treats for all the other kids plus a bag for Sebastian to bring all his stuff home with.  I mean, one mom even crocheted a spider for all the kids.  CROCHETED A SPIDER FOR 14 KIDS!  That’s the type of mom I’m supposed to be.  That’s the type of mom I want to be.  But too many times I’m the type of mother who doesn’t read the information and sends his kid to school in his uniform for his picture when he’s supposed to wear regular clothes.  (You’d think I would have learned the first time I screwed up.)

I forget things and I'm scatterbrained and I sleep too late in the mornings.

I don’t want Sebastian to be disappointed in me.  I know it will happen regardless, but he’s too young for it to start already.

I promise, I’ll try to be better little guy.

 

P.S. I also had to run back in the house this morning after buckling everyone in because I realized that I'd forgotten to brush Sebastian's teeth.  I grabbed his toothbrush and we brushed them in the car sans toothpaste.

*Have I told you this story before?  Because I feel like I have.