Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I think I'm like this because I don't see adults very often

Text conversation I had with Christopher this morning because he is Very Important and Busy and can’t be bothered to answer his phone at work:

Him: I cannot talk what to you need

Me: Jessica invited me to go to chick fi lay to have lunch and knit with a bunch of knighted and I wanted you to talk me into it.

Him: Buch of what

Me:  Knitters 

(Did you know spell check changes ‘knitters’ to ‘knighted’? WTF spell check?  I’m pretty sure you should know me better than that by now.  I don’t think I’ve ever used ‘knighted’ in a conversation.)

Him: Go ahead

Me: That’s some pretty lame convincing.

(Jessica is my neighbor, by the way.  And she has a blog.  Go say hi!)

Now you have to look past the fact that neither one of us took the time to make sure our words were spelled correctly, which normally I’d be irritated at because I was an English Major and as we all know those people can be pretty crazy about punctuation and spelling and overall grammar mistakes, but at this point I was in the process of changing a diaper and trying to grab some sort of knitting project that wasn’t too cumbersome to take with me and also trying to rush to pick Sebastian up from preschool in time for him not to be the last kid there.  Spoiler alert: He was anyway.  But once I convinced him that we’d go somewhere where he could play, because apparently just having a strawberry milkshake wasn’t enough of a bribe to get him to just go with the flow of something out of the ordinary, he settled into the idea and even was excited.

And so I went, because up until the point that I turned right instead of going straight to go home I hadn’t been sure.  It’s not that I didn’t want to go, and it’s not that I didn’t think I’d enjoy the company.  I’m not sure if you can tell from my hilarious word spillage that happens on these pages, but I’m a bit socially awkward.  Unless of course I’ve had a shot of tequila, but that didn’t seem like such a good idea at 10:30 in the morning while I had to drive.  Of course, if I was staying home it totally would have been a possibility, except I don’t have tequila but I do have 10 year old Absinthe that tastes like disgusting mouthwash but doesn’t even have the decency to have the wormwood in it, which is what makes Absinthe so special to begin with. 

But anyway, I get nervous whenever I know I’m going to meet new people, and it wasn’t helping that I didn’t sleep well last night and also overdosed on caffeine this morning so was a bit jittery and also twitchy-eyed so I knew that if I met these people I’d have to work hard not to seem like someone coming down off a crack binge.  Do knitters do crack?  It kind of seems like they wouldn’t, although if they did, they’d probably get more stuff done.  Maybe it’s kind of like a deadline thing, like if they’re knitting a shawl for someone’s birthday and they need it done in two days, crack may be the way to go. 

I wouldn’t know about that, though.

On the drive there, when digging around for some chapstick to make my lips look less like the undead, I pulled out an unwrapped tampon.  It wasn’t used of course, just one that had been stored in the glove box and came out of its wrapper, but it freaked Chris out so much when he was cleaning out the car that I took it out of the glove box to put in my purse to throw away later, but forgot about it because I have lots of important things to do that don’t involve remembering to throw away wrapper-less, unused tampons that just happen to be in my purse.  So I put it back in the glove box so I wouldn’t be searching for something to distract Adele with when she started throwing food and napkins and anything else in her reach and accidentally pull out an unwrapped tampon in the restaurant.  Although it would probably be a good ice breaker.  Or maybe not.  Not everyone keeps unused, unwrapped tampons in their purse.  I’ve heard.

But everyone was nice but I can’t remember names because I was nervous and also trying to keep my eye from twitching because I thought if I concentrated enough it would stop.

FYI – it’s still twitching as I type this.

I was able to knit a couple of rows on a sock while Sebastian and Adele played in the play area.  I was hesitant to let Adele go in there alone, but she did fine until I looked up to see her screaming at the bottom of a slide.  I still haven’t figured out what happened but she had a big bump on her forehead.  And after that I figured it was time to go.

I didn’t talk much to the people I didn’t know, but hopefully if they get together again and I can go and spend more time actually speaking.  But it was nice to hang out with my neighbor.  And she didn’t even laugh at me when I banged my hand on the corner of a random piece of furniture that I’m almost convinced leapt out in front of me to possibly make me even more uncomfortable, and it hurt so bad that I couldn’t move my fingers.

It’s better now, but still hurts.


  1. ha ha ha. I would have LOVED it if she pulled an unwrapped, unused tampon from your purse. Anna did that to me at church once and I didn't notice it until EVERYONE had already noticed it. I hope they do it again too. If they don't then we should just start meeting there and invite other people.

    1. That sounds like a great idea!

      And I would be so embarrassed if that happened! Especially in church!


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