Thursday, March 15, 2012

Welcome to our den of infestation


Oh hello there.  I’m just sitting here, possibly infected with the flu while simultaneously taking care of two children all by myself, one of whom is most definitely flu-filled, and the other of whom probably will be flu-filled momentarily.  How is your day going?

I woke up severely dry-mouthed, which is not something that happens to me very often.  After downing some water and the Gatorade I bought for Sebastian, and feeling a little flushed, I thought maybe I should check to see if I had a fever.

I don’t put much stock into thermometers.  I’ve had approximately 85 at one time and they all would say something different.

But  I still can’t stop myself from checking my temperature obsessively.  I first used the temple thermometer, which said 99 something.  Well, okay.  I never, ever have a fever, and usually my temp is below the normal.  So I thought I’d use the thermometer that goes under the tongue, because aren’t those supposed to be more accurate?  But it said I didn’t have a fever.  And then I took some ibuprofen because I had a headache anyway.  So, really, for the next four hours any temp I took wasn’t accurate at all, but still, about every 20 minutes I was checking again.  At one point I dropped the thermometer into my smoothie I’d just made, because that’s just how I roll (awkwardly and clumsily, I mean). 

So who the hell knows.  At last check, which was three minutes ago, it was 99.  And I feel a little spacey, as is evident by the post.  And if we’re going by the amount of times Sebastian sneezed in my face yesterday, it probably all adds up to FLU.

And yet, I still found the energy to mop my kitchen floor, partly because I am a good woman but also mostly because I couldn’t stand my flip flops sticking to it anymore.  And this was on my hands and knees, too.  But that’s because someone took my mop outside for God knows what, and I refuse to use it until he buys me a new mop head.

I haven’t told him that, yet.

I also had to rock Adele to sleep for her nap, which isn’t usual, so she’s probably getting sick, too.  Or maybe she was just pissed because she dropped her pacifier on the floor.  You’d think that at some point she’d realize that once she throws it down she can’t use it anymore.

Sebastian, of course, is remarkably improved.  He hasn’t had a fever all day, and took his medicine relatively well, unlike last night when I had to attempt the ‘hold him down and listen to both of the children scream and cry while I try unsuccessfully to shove a dropper full of medicine down his throat’ method.

He is now traumatized and refuses any and all dropper.  But he likes red medicine, for some reason, so I’ve been dying everything with red food coloring.  I think that’s actually the worst one for kids but at this point I DO NOT CARE.

So yes, he is improved enough to bounce around and laugh, but is still just sick enough to refuse his nap, though his glassy, tired eyes tell me that he desperately needs one.

He’s up there now kicking the wall.  He also put on jeans and a sweatshirt because the hot weather, I guess, makes him want to wear winter clothes.

Whatever.  I’m going to go lay down.  I think that instead of coming home tonight like he's supposed to, Christopher will probably drive as far away as he can so as to avoid the disease.

Please send wine.  That’s what you take for the flu, right?

(Temp check: 99.4)

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