I think caps lock is necessary to convey my irritation

Let me start by saying that I’ve never been to the eye doctor, that I can remember.  And I for sure have never been to the eye doctor with a 3-year-old.  And I most definitely have never been to the eye doctor with a 3-year-old for his appointment.

Ugh.

Sebastian’s preschool required that we go, which I guess makes sense but also makes me wonder where my tiny baby went and who this big boy is who requires optometrist appointments and backpacks and school supplies.  

I had no idea what to expect.  It was just … weird.  There were a bunch of people there but we had an appointment so I thought it would be quick.  I’d asked the receptionist who made the appointment over the phone how long she thought it would last and I don’t know, maybe that’s a difficult question, something no one has ever asked before because she acted like I was putting her out and also that I was an idiot.  

Well, the appointment will take 20 minutes.  (Implied – you’re such a stupid moron.) (It was all in the tone and I can’t adequately portray that with my limited typing skills so you’ll just have to take my word for it.)  (I’m serious.  Stop laughing at me.)

What wasn’t said, however, was that we would be there for TWO GODDAMN HOURS.

TWO GODDAMN HOURS!

What the hell?  Is that normal?  My mom, who thankfully offered to take Adele shopping with her and my nieces and nephew while we went to the appointment, just laughed at me when I was flabbergasted about the situation.

At first it wasn’t so bad.  The waiting area wasn’t like any doctor’s office I’d ever been in before.  In fact it reminded me of a cell-phone service store.  I saw a woman knitting and was disappointed that I hadn’t brought something for me to work on.  I contemplated stealing hers but decided against it.  Knitters have to take care of each other, you know?

Anyway I downloaded a game for Sebastian to play on my phone (Thank you baby Jesus that we have those phones.  I tried to get him to color but that just wasn’t cutting it.)  We spent some time matching animals and giggling.  Right around the time that game started getting boring and I’d started downloading another one we are called back.  After already being there an hour.

I was excited, thinking we were almost done.  Sebastian is his usual hyper and friendly self, cracking up everyone he sees.  First the assistant tried to get him to name the shapes he saw on the wall.  When that didn’t work (he said a horse was a dog, but I can totally see where he got that because it was a weird-looking horse) she moved on to letters.  He only knows some of his letters so it was hard to tell if he saw the letter but just couldn’t name it or if he really couldn’t see it.  I’m pretty sure it was the former.  

After that fiasco we went back to the waiting area.  To wait.  And wait.  By this time, around 12, I’m starting to get worried because Sebastian hadn’t had any lunch, Adele was with my mom and I knew she hadn’t eaten yet, either, and I was worried about meltdowns.  But there wasn’t anything I could do.

Sebastian played the new game for a little bit until we were called back again.  At 12:30.  After being there an hour and a half.  The doctor shines lights and makes Sebastian look in strange contraptions and then decides he needs to dilate his eyes.  Of course.  So that’s done and we’re sent back to wait again.

The games didn’t hold his attention for very long and I could tell that we were close not necessarily to meltdowns but to rowdy jumping around and yelling and such.  

Right when the Blue’s Clues episode started we got called back.

Thankfully that only lasted about 5 minutes.

And we were done.  At 1.  

After TWO GODDAMN HOURS!