Monday, August 1, 2011

I'm actually disappointed that no one threw anything on the barbie for us or made us a bloomin’ onion

A few months ago I bought a couple of half-price tickets for Kentucky Down Under, hoping to have something fun and relatively cheap to do with Sebastian this summer.  Time passed pretty quickly (holy hell how is it August already?) and I realized that if I didn’t use them soon they would expire, thus putting me out $12.  And I don’t like being out $12.

This is what I get when I say 'Hey Sebastian, go stand by that sign.'

Luckily Chris had last Friday off to work on homework but I convinced him that a couple hours spent looking at kangaroos would be a much better and more productive way to spend his time.

We left an hour later than we wanted to, which is pretty much right on schedule.  Sebastian was excited, sort of.  I think he didn’t know what to expect.  He kept calling it ‘the OTHER zoo.’  Like, ‘hey guys, we know you’re too cheap to take me to the real zoo, but I guess this other, lesser-quality zoo will suffice.  For now.’ 

Hill.  OF DOOM.
And honestly I didn’t really know what to expect.  I think I’d been there with Brownies when I was younger but don’t remember anything too clearly.  I smoked a lot of opium back then so everything is a little hazy.*

The day was super hot and most of it was spent walking outside.  After checking in with our tickets we had to walk up a big hill, which is awesome while pushing a stroller that, in addition to holding a 20-pound child, is also loaded down like a pack mule with all the stuff that I over-pack every time we leave the house.

Halfway up the hill of doom was a place that had some glass cages with snakes and skinks and other such slithery creatures.  Connected to that was a bird area (sanctuary?)  So after looking at the caged beasts you handed your ticket to the strange, lonely guy who’s there to pass out bird food and chew out children who open the door without his permission.

Make sure you have your tickets!

I couldn’t get Sebastian to hold a bird on his hand, but he did think the whole thing was pretty cool.  Adele wasn’t really all that enthused and preferred to sit in her stroller and chillax.

And then we walked up another hill.

At the top of that hill we went into the store that had all the crap that I would have wanted as a kid but as an adult I see it for the tacky junk that it is.  Sebastian is pretty good about not throwing fits when I won’t let him have something in a store.  He still asks for it but usually will listen when I say no.  We signed up for the cave tour but apparently were supposed to sign up when we first came in the park because someone at the check-in place got an earful of irritation from the guy that took our names.  (I think maybe they were all hot and tired.  And not especially happy with their jobs.)  

We had an hour to kill so we went to see what else we could get into.

Here's where if I were a lesser person I'd make a joke about dingos
and babies and eating and such.  Right.  If I were a lesser person. 
(No I am not mentally thinking of the joke.  I SWEAR.)
We saw some dingos, which Sebastian had a hard time understanding wasn’t pronounced “Bingo” because of the song.  We went over that all afternoon.  I guess they’re supposed to be wild animals but they just looked like sweet dogs.  No, I did not try to pet them.  Or let my children. 

We caught a show about Aboriginal parties complete with didgeridoos and boomerangs but mostly I was just happy for a place to sit in the shade and feed the kids some lunch.  

The cave tour was neat and sort of familiar, and Sebastian did really well.  There was a tricky and kind of scary part where he insisted I hold him because the stairs were really steep and had drop-offs on either side.  But, like the intelligent and responsible person I am, I was wearing flip flops.  In a cave.  With wet, stone floors.


It's kind of hard to take pictures in a cave.

We made it through fine and Sebastian enjoyed himself.  We were all beat by that point and so decided that we’d pet the kangaroo then leave for home.

Gorgeous guys.
 It was pretty cool to be that close to a kangaroo, though he didn’t really seem to know that we were petting him.  He kind of just lay there.   Which is better than him jumping up and kicking us, I guess.  But we were only allowed to touch his back side.  Awesome.

Sebastian insisted we go and see some more birds so we did that before we left.  This birds were lots more aggressive than the others, probably because we had crack to feed them instead of birdseed.  Or maybe it was just sugar water.  Either way.  Sebastian freaked out because one landed on his head and another tried to land on his arm so he just watched while Chris and I feed them. 

Evil bird.
On the way home (after getting lost trying to find our way back to our car) we stopped in Munfordville at, let me make sure I get this right, Big Bubba Bucks Belly Bustin’ Barbecue Bliss.  For some catfish, obviously.  Chris and I had barbecue but Sebastian isn’t all that fond of it (not my kid).  Everyone was exhausted and grumpy and Sebastian was being extra loud and rowdy to keep from falling asleep.  Adele was flinging food and toys all over the ridiculously tiny restaurant and I just wanted to get something to drink on account of the sun-induced dehydration.  We had other customers laughing at us and I think the waitress was just hoping we’d leave.  She wasn’t all that friendly.  

But that’s okay.  I probably wouldn’t be that friendly to customers I knew were going to leave mac and cheese all over the floor either.

We did try to pick up what we could.

*I did not really smoke a lot of opium.  It was mostly just pot.

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