Oh Vienna. I will always miss you.

I had every intention of posting this yesterday.  I mean, I had every intention of posting this yesterday weeks before yesterday. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about my study abroad trip to Vienna because it was 10 years ago that I started that experience.  Ten years ago yesterday.  And so I've been planning on sharing from my journal, which I wrote in daily while I was gone, unless I was too drunk.  Have I mentioned the parties?  There were lots of parties.  Lots and lots of parties.  And lots and lots of sangria filled with lots and lots of alcohol.

And dancing.  So much dancing.  I miss the drunk dancing.

So 10 years ago yesterday I set off on a plane with my 'traveling outfit,' which mainly consisted of what I thought someone traveling to Europe for a study abroad trip in Vienna would wear.  Linen pants and a white t-shirt, if you must know, which is the absolute worst traveling outfit in the history of ever, because by the time I finally made it to Germany, where I stayed with Chris' grandparents for a week before I went to Vienna, my white shirt was full of coffee stains and my linen pants were wrinkled beyond recognition.  So please, learn from my mistakes.  Dark clothes are the way to go.

I was nervous, scared, worried and thrilled all at the same time.  It was my first real time being on my own for this long and I didn't know how it would be.

It actually was a spur of the minute decision to go, as I hadn't even considered going until I heard other people in my German class talking about it.  And it seemed doable.  And absolutely necessary.

And so I started the process.  And then I was on my way.

I'm probably a little bit over-introspective, but this trip has stayed with me.  These four months have affected me more than anything outside the births of my children.  And I wish so much that I could go back.  Not necessarily to Vienna, although there's that, too.  But I want to go back to this time of meeting new people, of being unencumbered by the responsibilities that currently take up my life.  Of really feeling like I was living, like I was experiencing something I'd always wanted to experience. 

But things change, time passes, life happens.  And I won't be that person again.  But I had Vienna.  And I am ever so grateful.

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8/20/02  2:15 p.m.

Things are so weird sometimes.  I'm in North Carolina waiting for my flight to Frankfurt.  Last time seemed so much more exciting.*  I think I'm old.  Maybe I just didn't get enough sleep last night.  I didn't go to bed until 1:30.  Nothing feels real.  Is this really happening?  Will I be able to survive 4 months without Chris?  A guy just sat down next to me who smells like him.  Smells are so interesting, the way they take your mind to different places.  Mom was crying when I said good-bye.  It's hard.  I don't know if I really want to do this. 

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You can find the rest of my journal entries here.

* Here I'm talking about when I went to Italy by myself to visit my sister for a couple of weeks when I was 16.