Thursday, August 2, 2012

She's going to hate me when she's a teenager and sees this.

Last night I was all set to instagram the hell out of this photo:

Or maybe even this one:

Yes, she's still wearing her shoes.
And make it delightfully old-timey, with a caption about how she was ready for her bath before I was ready for her to get in the tub, but as I was choosing a filter I hear this whining from the bathroom.  (No, I don’t always stay right there in the bathroom when she’s in the tub.  I like to instagram in peace.)

At first I just ignored her because she whines all the time these days, but she didn’t stop so I went to check on her and I see her staring at something in the tub.  Honestly I was afraid to look, because I knew what was I was in for.

You guys, she POOPED IN THE TUB FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK.  And she was inching away from it, you know, because it’s poop, and looking at me like “What the hell is that?”

Well, if you would stop dropping deuces whenever you’re in some form of water, maybe you wouldn’t have to deal with it, ADELE!

It’s like, every time her toe touches water, be it in a pool or the tub, it automatically works as a laxative. 

So I yell for poor Chris, who’s trying to finish his homework, and he comes upstairs to help, understandably irritated.  And you guys, I can’t stop laughing.  Like cry-laughing, that is so close to crying that before I know it I actually AM crying on account of all the drama that this little girl incites.  Lack of sleep, smacking, spitting her milk or any food on the floor just to spite me, the endless tantrums. 

She is so much work.  Right now she’s in her bed, supposed to be napping, but will probably start yelling before too long because she’s thrown her pacifier out of the bed as a way to get me to come back into her room.

But anyway, Chris cleaned out the tub, for the second time this week.  But I’ve done it three times myself, not to mention all the times I’ve cleaned her up after she pooped when swimming, plus there’s the cloth diapers, so I kind of win this round of ‘who has dealt with the most poop.’ 

Later that night as Sebastian was walking to his dad to kiss him goodnight I noticed something on his head.  He’d just had some yogurt as a snack and apparently the lid had been left with him in the living room.  Somehow it ended up stuck to the back of his head.  He’d just had a bath.

I wiped it off with a baby wipe.

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