Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Sometimes things are harder than other times. Much like this post title.


For the past few weeks I’ve felt … under the weather I guess.

Blah.  Everything was blah.  Also kind of ugh.

I woke up in a fog and stayed that way all day.  I had zero energy to play with the kids, though I would force myself because it was something I knew I should be doing.  The house stayed in disarray.  Okay, it pretty much always stays in disarray, though the level of disarray was bordering on hoarders.  (Wonder how many times I can fit ‘disarray’ into a paragraph without causing disarray?  Because I can keep going.  Disarray.  This whole post is full of disarray already and I just started.  Disarray.)

Whenever I had a break I’d look around me at everything that needed doing and think ‘Man, I really need to do something.’  And then I’d sit down and either stare off into space, check facebook and twitter, or turn my mind off with the TV on. 

It took every effort I had to fix breakfast, lunch and dinner.  And this wasn’t a lack-of-sleep tired, though there was that too.  This was a deep-down-in-my-bones tired.

I’ve heard that September is a hard time for people, be it weather wise or light-change-wise or mental-wise. 

I tend to think my blue funk comes from the weather.  All the sudden the humidity changes and temperatures drop and the sun refuses to come up before my children stir.  All of that takes an adjustment on my part.  It seems to happen with every other season change – winter into spring and summer into fall.

So for weeks every spring and fall I walk around like someone is standing over me pressing my shoulders down, forcing me to try that much harder to pick my feet up and go.  I’ve been waking up in darkness, both mental and actual, which doesn’t abate throughout the day.

But thankfully it seems to be easing.  The past two days I’ve felt normal.  I’ve had energy to do something. The house is sort of clean.  Ish.  I’ve entertained my children, even taking them for an hour long walk around the town this morning.  My patience has returned and my short temper has gone.  I’ve felt like writing again, (lucky you).  And even the knitting bug has returned.

And while there still is that sleepy, my-daughter-keeps-waking-up-before-5 a.m. tired, I no longer have the I’m-just-gonna-lay-here-all-day-while-you-kids-take-care-of-yourselves tired.

I’d say that’s an improvement.

(This video has nothing to do with this post.  It's just a gratuitous, 'Look what my baby can do!' thing I shot a few weeks ago. Please ignore the background junk.  Remember - September funk.)

video

5 comments:

  1. she's getting SOOO big!
    I've been in a funk too.
    thankfully I have made it out alive as well. ;-)

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  2. Glad to hear it! The whole thing SUCKS! Maybe we should try to have another playdate soon!

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  3. Apart from the fact that you have young kids and I have older teens....that sounds like what I have been going through....and I think Funk is definately the word...No real explanation but getting showered and dressed at the begining of the day was taking until lunch time to happen....sitting on the couch thinking about what i could/should be doing was taking up most of my time....but like you I seem to slowly be coming out of it.....hope you continue to improve too

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  4. @jaimalaya

    k!! email me. I have lost your email.

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  5. @KatrinaIt's so hard when that happens. I don't know about you but I've got guilt issues, too. So not only was I unable to do what needed to be done, I was super hard on myself and felt completely guilty about it! Vicious cycle!

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Thanks for commenting!