Thursday, December 15, 2011

Unless of course they want me to cut their food up. But only if they buy me wine first.

I think I have an ear infection.

I mean, I’m not sure because it started hurting really badly yesterday after I jammed a q-tip into it which I know you’re not supposed to do but it was bothering me and I thought that would help.

It didn’t.  And now I’m left with a really sore ear that may or not be infected.  But I don’t go to the doctor ever because I’m a strong woman who doesn’t need things like modern medicine and will probably self-medicate with wine tomorrow night anyway when my children are at their grandparents’ house and Chris and I go out with the neighbors. 

So the only question is do I put it directly into my ear or just drink so much I forget that it’s hurting?

Decisions, decisions.


This morning while I was brushing my teeth Sebastian came up behind me, hugged my backside and said that I had the biggest butt he’d ever seen.

I’m almost positive he was saying it complimentary. 

I mean, I won’t say that a little bit of me wasn’t hurt but there’s no way I can scream at a 3-year-old for hurting my feelings, stomp off and slam the door to the bedroom to drown myself in chocolate and tears. 

He’d just come after me wanting some of my chocolate and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be in the mood to share.

So I just said thank you.  Much less therapy bills that way.

Plus I’m semi-okay with the size of my butt, in that I know that I could be more proactive about reducing its size, but I figure that the more time I spend focusing on it the less time I have for doing things like eating chocolate.


I can’t wait to go out on Friday.  I’m afraid I’m going to lose my ability to communicate with someone who is old enough to drive a car or buy me booze because I spend most of my time arguing about why it isn’t okay to have pretzels before you’ve had your breakfast, or why you can’t watch TV or play a game on the computer for hours at a time.  (Because I said so, that’s why.)

And so I’m craving consistent adult conversation.  It isn’t helpful that Christopher has been immersed in homework for the past few weeks.  Plus I see him all the time.  I probably know what he’s going to say before he says it anyway.

So, if I don’t screw it up by cutting up someone’s food for them, Friday should be good.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go yell at someone for kicking the wall in his room while he’s supposed to be napping.  (Because I said so, that’s why.)

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