The margarita is completely Paleo so it balances out

I am currently snacking on animal crackers that I found in the bottom
of my purse.  I chaperoned my son's zoo field trip yesterday and one of the little boys decided he was completely done with his snack and so here, lady, hold this for me and also buy me an icee.  (I didn't buy him an icee.)

I call this one 'Sebastian at the zoo.'

I blame the (totally non-paleo) animal cracker consumption on my current coma-like state, which I blame on my husband.

He was out of town for the past few days and so hasn't been home to tell me to put down the margarita and go to bed.

I kind of like staying up late.  It's quiet, I'm alone.  I can sew in peace without my daughter 'helping' by holding the little wheel turny thing (the scientific name, obviously) that makes the sewing machine sew, thus stopping any progress.  Or without my son randomly switching out my bobbin thread because "blue is my favorite color, Mom."

Last night was probably not the best time to stay up extra late as I'd already stayed up extra late the night before.  But I didn't listen to myself because I was soclose to finishing a project.  So I ignored my exhaustion and set up the kindle to play episodes of Ripper Street on Netflix and sewed one and a half shirts.  (The half was already halfway finished before I started yesterday.  Because I'd already stayed up extra late the night before working on it.)

I told myself the entire time I was sitting there that I would regret staying up, that I needed to get to bed because tomorrow (now today) would be so much harder and also I'd have to face getting two kids ready by myself plus I needed a shower and couldn't fake it by just putting up my hair because I'd already done that one day and couldn't do it for two in a row.

So I went to sleep at 11:30 and woke up before 5 for no reason at all other than my body hates me.  Or maybe it doesn't hate me, maybe it's like a dog that can sense storms coming and woke me up early so I would be prepared for the horrible hail/wind/rain/thunder/lightning episode we were blessed with at 5:06 a.m.  My daughter woke up scared from the pre-storm lightning so I brought her downstairs and then the hail slammed against my bedroom window so loudly that I seriously thought it was going to shatter all over us.  I didn't want to leave Adele to go get Sebastian, who I was sure was peacefully sleeping and oblivious.

Once it calmed down, however, I checked on him and found him up and scared and so felt like a horrible mother.  I brought him downstairs, too, so we all cuddled together for about 20 minutes that were filled with kicks and jumps and hugs and kisses until  I couldn't take it anymore and got up to take a shower.

So really I can't be blamed for the animal crackers, is what I'm saying.

Or for the copious amounts of caffeine I will be partaking in today.

(I'm currently listening to Lou Reed's Walk On the Wild Side and it makes me feel things.  Probably because I'm in a coma.)

(Here is a picture of one of the shirts I finished last night.  It's the Tiny Pocket Tank by Grainline Studio.  I'm only showing you now because I want you all to admit that I am the queen of Me Made May photos as I take them in poor lighting using my dirty bathroom mirror, which I like to refer to as 'the artistic way'.)

Homemade Friday: Maxi Dress (McCalls 6552)

I can't help it.

I love this dress.

I love the swishy fabric that I paid a whole dollar a yard for.

I love the length.

I love the fact that I learned how to sew a buttonhole on it.

You can't see it but there's totally two buttonholes behind that bow.

I love how incredibly comfortable it is.

And I know it may not be the most flattering dress on me, and quite possibly might look like I'm wearing a sheet but I can't say I really care all that much.

The pattern is McCalls 6552, from their Fashion Star line.  I guess.  That was a show, right?  Maybe?  I found the pattern in my giant box of patterns and decided to sew it up one day a month or so ago while my husband was out of town.

I made the neckline a bit higher than the picture as, well, it's kind of indecent.  Also some people have to wear a bra whenever they leave the house on account of nature and heredity.  So making the dress the way it was pictured was completely out of the question.  For someone like me.  Who has hereditarily large bubs.

The material is kind of thin so I have to wear a slip under the dress, which makes me feel like I'm living in the wrong decade because do people even wear slips anymore?  I guess I could wear my generic spanx but I also like breathing so I stick to the slip.

I had some trouble putting the drawstring through the casing in the dress because my safety pin that I was using to push it through kept breaking or opening up and sticking the dress so there are a few small unwanted holes around the waist but I figure it just makes it look well loved.  Or something.

The binding had to be hand-sewn around the neckline and I actually enjoyed it.  Hand-sewing makes me feel useful and productive, much more so than machine sewing.  However, I will not be giving up my sewing machine for a needle, thread and thimble any time soon.

 
I think the dress would also work as a bathing suit cover-up so it might get a lot of use this summer.

'Something in me will die if I don't' (#tbt)

Hey remember when I shared all those old journal entries with you pretty regularly and we all laughed at me and had so much fun but then I just kind of stopped for no real reason and with no explanation?

Wanna pick back up?

Of course you do!

............................................................................................................................................

Wed. April 9, 1997 (5:53 p.m.) (Almost 16 years old)

Courtney left about 10 minutes ago.  I'm going to miss her, but I'm so jealous!  Every time I think of going to visit her in Italy next summer, my stomach knots up.  I'm so afraid I won't be able to go!  I've got to!  I need to see new things!  (Editor's note: Didn't go that summer.  Went in winter of 1998 and it was awesome.)

She came in on Tues. the 25th of March.  Spring Break was the week after that, last week.  We went shopping a lot!  Easter was the Sunday before last.  I wore a purple polyester pant suit.  say that 3 times fast!  (Editor's note No. 2: I loved that pastel suit so very much.  I have since changed my mind.)  Anyway, the first day of break we went to the mall.  (One of my favorite songs is on - Colin Ray, I'm on the Verge.  It's great!) On Tuesday she took me to get my hair trimmed.  Then she went to the tanning bed while I watched Christian.  On Wed. we went to Carnival shoe store.  On Thursday we went to Bacon's.  

Well, I got my schedule filled out.  I got on the annual staff, adn I'm in chorus for both semesters.  At first Mrs. Jones told me there wasn't room for me.  I was upset.  I cried a lot.  The next day though I went up to her and said "How come there isn't room for me when everybody else that's been in chorus before is automatically in it the next year?"  She didn't know what I was talking about, but she finally understood me.  she told me that I was right & she signed my schedule.  I was terrified about going to talk to her, but it was something I had to do.  I'm proud of myself!  It was the first time I had really stood up for myself.  It showed that I could do it.  

My other classes are Anatomy & Physiology, Pre-cal, U.S. History & English III.

Stole this photo from someone's facebook
page. Had crimped hair.  Adored my crimped hair.

................................................................................................................................

Sun. June 8, 1997 (9:03 p.m.)  (Almost 16!)

I don't think I remember what a cloudless, blue sky looks like.  I don't remember what it's like to go outside and feel a warm breeze rustling my hair.  It's been raining for 18 days, Granny says, but it feels more like 18 weeks.  I don't know if I can survive much more of this.  I haven't been able to do any gardening.  I need to weed.  I'm selling vegetables for money this summer.  It's for my "vacation in Italy" fund.  I have like $114, but I have to get my cat spaid.  I can't wait until I start getting money.  I need guarantee that I'll actually go to Italy.  Something in me will die if I don't.  Maybe that's being dramatic, but I know that it's true.  I keep thinking about where I want to go to college.  There's so much out there, so many different cities, just waiting for me to come and find their true meaning.  Does that make sense?  Oh well, it doesn't matter.  I cut my hair.  It's about an inch below my ear.  Mom & Dad really like it.  I guess everybody else does.

I often find myself feeling for my pulse.  It's like I have to check to see if I'm still breathing, if I'm still alive.  That's a sad thought.

I think the reason I want to go to college so bad is that I won't know most of the people there.  More importantly, though, they won't know me.  I can be different, but the same.  I can experience things.  People won't see me as that girl that's okay, but not really cool.  I want people to respect me, to look up to me.  I still want to be famous.  I want to be an actress really bad.  I don't know how to do that, though.  Dad won't pay anything for me if I go to college in San Francisco.  Maybe I'll get a scholarship.  Maybe.  I'd like to go to New York too.  There's so much out there.  I don't want to end up in Flaherty.  This not where I want to grow old and die.

(The rest of the journal entries are on this page "Jaime's embarrassing journal entries about boys she loved and also how much she wanted to get her period"

Random Wednesday: In which I discuss candy bars, sewing and temperamental daughters

1. I bought a candy bar because my credit card wouldn't work at the gas pump.

2. Makes total sense.

3. I mean, since my card wouldn't work I had to go inside to pay for the gas.

4. And the candy bar was just sitting there.

5. Also I really wanted it.

6. Also I also really want a nap.

7. Also I also want to see how may times I can type 'also' in one post.

8. That might be enough.

9. I've been doing really well with Me Made May and it's actually pretty thrilling, but only because I'm a dork.

10. I'm excited for Friday when I'll be home alone and can sew myself a tank top.  

11. And maybe some shorts? And a skirt?

12. I probably won't get all of that done.

13. I am in fact not a wizard, sewing or otherwise.

14. I also (damn it!) don't really want to buy more fabric as I've got a lot already.

15. And I'm not sure I have the right type of fabric for what I want to sew.

16. We'll see.

17. Adele threw my kindle at my head this morning because she had something in her eye.

18. Then she was mad at me because I wouldn't give it back to her.  

19. First of all, she threw it at my head.  

20. Second of all we were at her school/daycare and didn't have time for her to play on it.

21. I drug her into school, screaming.  (Dragged?)

22. Everyone thought she just didn't want to leave me and was so sad about it.

23. In reality she was just pissed at me.

24. I was not sad about dropping her off this morning.

25. God bless daycare, is what I'm saying.