Thursday, March 27, 2014

The king of all wild things

Well.  My son called me a fool last night.

I think it was because I "boss him around."

It couldn't, of course, be because I parent him and limit his amount of screen time and the number of times he can watch Johnny Test, which is an obnoxious show, in case you were wondering.

I tried to discuss with him the differences between parenting and bossing and I did well for about a minute.  However, all through my calm presentation he insisted that I am just mean.

And then I sent him to his room because I'LL SHOW YOU MEAN, BOY.

Guys.  It's getting a bit ridiculous.  My children have turned into wild monsters.  I mean, they weren't the most calm children to begin with, but they've taken it to a whole new level.

Adele has started screaming again when I drop her off in the morning.  And yesterday I had to deal with her throwing a fit because Sebastian's after-school teacher offered her one sucker, but instead she took two, and I attempted to make her put one back.  She refused.  And refused.  And screamed.  And then I pried both suckers out of her vice grip to give back to the teacher because fine then, you don't get any.  And her screaming advanced to a whole new level.

I had to carry her out to the car, kicking, screaming, etc., while holding two bags of wet clothes because she'd peed herself during naptime again, and whatever papers Sebastian gave me to hold, and that shoe she attempted to throw at her brother.

And then we got home and for some reason Sebastian felt like I wasn't overwhelmed enough and started acting out because I wouldn't let him play on YouTube because you don't know where your innocent searches will lead.  But no, it is only because I am a mean, mean mother who only likes to boss him around and steal all of his joy and also I am a fool because of course.

I think that Sebastian is acting like this because it's his way of working through the change associated with me going back to work.  And it is a change.  It's an adjustment that will take time.  But holy hell it sucks now.

He is leaving on Saturday to go to Florida for a week with my mom and my nieces.  It's the longest he's been away from me and the furthest he's gone.

I am nervous and jealous all at the same time.

Also, maybe just a little bit relieved to have an end to a bit of the drama.  Or at least I will be for the first couple of days and then I will miss him so much that I will need to lie in his bed and stare at all his artwork that he has drawn on his walls without permission.


  1. you're a good momma. this whole parenting gig sure is rough. I want to slap people that tell me to cherish it. I want to be like, "yeah, I am cherishing it, but f*****g let me vent."

    1. Thank you! And I'd like to ask those people telling us to cherish all the moments how much they look back fondly on all the tantrums. Because I'm sorry, I do not cherish tantrums.


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