Monday, July 25, 2011

I guess accidentally getting drunk before I went to bed last night was a bad idea

6:50 – Wake up with Chris, but don’t actually get up.

7:00 – Jump up right before he leaves because you just remembered that you have to have the car today to take Sebastian to the doctor for his 3-year check-up.

7:05 – Try unsuccessfully to convince Chris to do things your way but he insists on doing it his way (the hard way).

7: 10 – Go back to bed even though you know it’ll probably only be for 15-20 minutes since it’s almost time for the kids to wake up.

7:11 – Hear Sebastian on the monitor.  “I want to go downstairs!  I want to go downstairs!”

7:11 and 28 seconds – Groan 

7:15 – Go get Sebastian up, attempting to force him to be quiet so he doesn’t wake his sister up.  Bring him downstairs.

7:16 – Try to convince Sebastian that it’s a good idea to lay back down in my bed and try to go back to sleep.  He doesn’t agree.

7: 17 – Hear Adele on the monitor.

7: 18-7:30 – Nursing Adele

7:31-7:35 – Getting Adele dressed, fighting off her tendency to scream and thrash about when getting her diaper changed.

7:36 – Come downstairs and turn on the computer.

7:37-7:45 – Answer a multitude of questions on why I was turning on the computer (“What’s it doing now?  What’s that?  We don’t touch the computer, right? Mommy, what’d you DO? You can touch that?  Not me, right?”) while simultaneously getting dressed and making the bed and also keeping a newly-crawling baby from sticking her fingers in all the outlets.

7:46 – Stare longingly at the newly-made bed.

7:47 – Tell Sebastian for the third time that he’s not watching his Diego movie until after breakfast, as is the rule EVERY SINGLE MORNING.

7:48 – Argue about whether peanut butter is a good breakfast food.  Realize that it doesn’t really matter except that’s probably what he’ll have for lunch and I have to draw the peanut butter line somewhere.

7:49 – Settle on toast

7:50 – Decide that now would be a good time to put a pot of coffee on.

7:51 – Stupid whole coffee beans!  I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO GRIND YOU.

7: 52 – Realize that the coffee beans can read minds and did not like the way you were thinking about them and so just out of spite jumped out of the coffee grinder when you were trying to put the top on and all over the floor.

7:52 and 3 seconds – SON OF A BITCH!  (in my head)

7:52 and 10 seconds – enlist Sebastian to help you clean up the beans before Adele charges into the kitchen and eats them all thus ensuring that she never sleeps again.

7:58 – Coffee finally brewing.

8:00 – Toast in the toaster.

8:01 – Adele in her high chair with some cereal.

8:02 – Put the water on for your oatmeal.

8:03 – Toast buttered and jellied and placed in front of Sebastian with a cup of milk.

8:04 – Sebastian: “I want oatmeal with my toast!”

8:05 – Okay.  Be happy that you can finally convince him to eat oatmeal again since it’s probably better than the cereal that he usually eats.  Make him the real thing as opposed to the little instant packets that you eat.  Oatmeal on.

8:06 – Smush up a banana for Adele, who is waiting patiently.

8:07 – Run to the bathroom because you just realized you haven’t done that yet.

8:08 – Sebastian’s oatmeal is done.  Adele is in finally getting her first bite of breakfast.

8:09 – Sebastian: “I have to go pee!”

8:10 – Sebastian, from the bathroom: “Mommy I peed on the thing!”

8:11 – When he comes back into the kitchen interrogate him as to what exactly the ‘thing’ is because you don’t want to go look.

8:12 – It was the shower curtain.  And the floor.  And the toilet seat.  

8:12 and 5 seconds – GRRRRRRRRR!

8:13 – Clean up a lot of pee and wash hands.

8:15 – Give Adele three bites.

8:16 – Sebastian: “Mommy, I’m done!  Can I watch somepin?”

8:17 – Tell him that Adele really needs her breakfast first.

8:18-8:22 – This conversation is basically on repeat.

8:23 – Also try to convince him that if he would just be go play for a few minutes Adele would eat and not be distracted by him and then she would be done faster and he could watch TV quicker.

8:32 – Give up since Adele has stopped eating and is mostly spitting food out in your face or slapping the spoon away.

8:33 – Adele gets her hand caught under her and smacks her cheek on the kitchen floor.  Lots of comfort needed.

8:39 - TV on.

8: 40 – Five minutes of quiet for me to eat my breakfast and drink my first cup of coffee.

8:45 – Everyone seems occupied and content so I head to the computer to write for a few minutes.

8:59 – Invaded by Adele.

9:00-9:08 – Writing, hopping up every 45 seconds to take something away from Adele that she’s not supposed to play with, realizing that I could stand to do some more baby proofing in this room.  Or never let her in.

9:09 – Start to feel normal after second cup of coffee.

9:10 – She’s fussy.  It’s naptime.

9:13-9:30 – Diaper change, nursing, story, lullaby, and she’s in bed.

9:32 – Clean out poopy diaper because it’s cloth.

9:33 – Realize that it’s time to wash diapers again, but that would entail taking the clothes out of the dryer and putting the ones in the washer in the dryer.

9:33 and 7 seconds – Maybe later.

9:35 – Just a few more minutes of writing.

9:36 – Sebastian: “Do you want to watch Diego with me?  Do you want to play balloon with me?”

9:37 – Feel supremely guilty for asking him to wait a few minutes.

9:40 – Realize that not only have you not brushed your hair yet, but you also haven’t brushed your teeth or the teeth of any of your children.

9:41 – Stop writing.  Post silly blog.

If only it were this easy ...

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