Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Motherhood & More: Loss provides gift of time*

I’ve recently been gifted extra time at home.

I say ‘gifted’ because for the past while I have been sad and upset about the loss of my job, but I would like to stop being quite so negative because it’s bumming me and everyone around me out. So, thus, I am focusing on what I gained instead of what I lost.

I gained more time to be available for my children. I can cook more and bake more and spend more time getting household work finished during the day so that when the kids are home I can pay more attention to them. I can volunteer more at their school. I do not have to worry about summer childcare.

I’ve gained more time to work on our wood floors, which we have been in the process of refinishing for a few weeks now. This means that they will be done sooner and my house will be put back in order sooner, and my brain also will be put back in order sooner because it doesn’t like it when the house is in this much disarray. A little bit is ok. What we are living with is ridiculous.

I’ve gained more time to focus on things I enjoy, such as sewing for myself or the kids, and making jewelry for my Etsy shop, or knitting because everyone needs wool hats right before summer. And maybe, possible, I will sew things to sell, as well. Anybody need a dress?

Or I can write more for enjoyment rather than employment. I can focus more on being a creative person, which is where I find the most joy. Maybe I’ll attempt to write a book.

Nevermind. Books scare me. Maybe I’ll write a short story.

I can have more time for running. Running makes my body hurt but keeps my mind from self-combusting, so when I don’t have time or motivation I feel worse. And then I don’t run because I feel worse. And I feel worse because I don’t run. Vicious circle and all that. So I can be better about running most days, and be stronger for it, mentally and physically.

I can plan more things to do with the kids, other than just letting them watch television until dinner time. I can have actual activities to keep them entertained until they beg to watch television.

So. Good thoughts. Budget cuts are a horrible thing to the people they affect and I am not the only person this has ever happened to. I have wallowed for a while but am working on my attitude. I will find another job, but in the mean time I plan on enjoying not working.

Because not working can be awesome. Just look at all I’ve gained.

(P.S. I've gotten freelance work since this was written. So nevermind!)

*This column originally published in The News-Enterprise on April 22, 2015.

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