I have not been rocking this return-to-stay-at-home-mom thing.
It's been a little difficult. Or a lot, maybe.
We have had far too many fights and far too many television shows and far too many instances where Mama looses her cool.
A couple of days ago I told my children they were fighting over something stupid. My son had a quick intake of breath to show me I had used a 'bad word' and before he could say anything I said "Yes! I know I said 'stupid' because IT IS STUPID!"
Ever since then he's been using the word sporadically then turning to me and saying "Well YOU said it."
That I did you little heathen. That I did. (Although to be fair to myself - IT WAS TOTALLY STUPID.)
I mean, yeah, we've been able to do a few things. We went to the aquarium with their grandmother, we went swimming, we went hiking and fishing, we had a birthday party, we went to the fair (THE fair - the Meade County Fair, obvs.), we went swimming again. We even made it to Abraham Lincoln's birthplace.
But dear lord the fighting. And screaming. And fighting. And whining. And arguing. And whining.
I know it's my fault. I went from a couple of months of being able to pee alone and also having two whole days of the week all by myself to being completely immersed in mom-ness. And honestly, summers do not showcase my best qualities as a Mama. The days stretch out without me being able to fill them. The kids don't play together unless I am there to keep them from smacking each other, and even then lots of time board games end in someone stomping off or someone else ripping up the pieces. Tempers are short all around, all the time and I don't know why. (Probably a lack of drugs, I'm just guessing.)
I don't know how to teach them to be friends. I want to play with them, but I also try to keep a bit of distance because I don't want them to rely solely on me for entertainment. As it is I have to force them to do something other than watch TV.
But I try to balance keeping the house from looking like life exploded in it with being a good, fun, mom, with trying to make jewelry and handknits to sell. (I'm going to set up at a festival in September with my sister. Not exactly prepared for it yet. Also I have an Etsy shop. Want something?)
So far nothing is balanced and we all just fell flat on our faces. Maybe that's normal. Maybe not. But I can only try to do better. I've got three weekdays left before I go back to work. Time to peel the kids away from their screens and do something.
Mama is going to be fun if it kills her. (Pass the drugs.) (I'm just kidding.) (I don't know why I felt the need to clarify, but I did.)
Let's look at some photos, shall we?