Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket …

This afternoon, as everything was dragging on as it usually does with Sebastian asking me to build things with him and me putting him off since I had a million things to do, not the least of which was start dinner, we all gravitated toward the kitchen.  Adele pulled out Sebastian’s old radio, the one that has ‘Bingo’ and ‘If you’re happy and you know it’ on repeat, and turned it on.  And we sang along to it for a song or two, but then Sebastian wanted to listen to my radio. 

I knew that this was the worst part of our day, every day.  The kids were hungry and grumpy and Sebastian had spent the entire day without a nap, even though his body still requires one but his mind refuses to follow suit.  It was my time to watch the clock, too, wanting some kind of relief from a day spent with young children, even if they are my own.  So I knew we needed something to pick us up, to stop all of our self-pitying.  So I put on Florence and the Machine, and turned it loud, as Sebastian insisted, and we started dancing as wildly as we could, all of us squealing with laughter.

……………........................................................

It’s been a trying week.  I guess no more than usual, but it’s been one of those where it’s difficult for me to loosen up and have fun, to be silly and goofy and everything that my little ones need me to be.  I tend to spend too much of my day thinking of all the things I need to get done, thinking of how I can keep the kids occupied to in order to attempt  my to-do list.  Or I plot to find a little bit of time to myself then feel guilty about it when I do.

Too little of my time is focused entirely on the children, but more so this week.  Some days I just don’t want to be here.  Some days I wish someone would come in and take over all of my responsibilities so that I could do nothing but read all day, or nothing but sit in a bar with my friends, drinking and laughing.  But that doesn’t happen.  So instead I give about 20 percent to everything, children included. 

But today, as we turned up the music louder, and louder, and even louder, I wanted to scoop up this feeling, this moment, and put in their pockets.  I wanted them to remember this, our happiness, our laughter, our dancing and singing.  I wanted them to remember how good we all felt, for that short spell.  So when they are older and wiser, and maybe even the tiniest bit bitter that their mother didn’t do all that they thought she should have, they will pull this memory out, dust it off, and feel again that unabashed joy that we all felt together.  And even though I am so far from perfect and my temper is quicker than I’d like, and my patience is thin more often than it should be, maybe they will see that I loved them.  That even though I did not always focus all of my energy on them as much as they’d like, that I loved being with them, that I loved to sing and dance and laugh with them. 

That I wanted it to always be that way, too.

Pretzels. And the zoo. And dinosaurs made dead by other dinosaurs.

You’ll have to excuse me, because I’ve only got a few minutes.  This one will probably be all pictures.  During a bout of insanity I decided to make a batch of homemade soft pretzels.  I think it was because the children were playing so nicely with colored rice and beans in the kitchen that I thought it would be the perfect time to bake.

(Also, I’m sort of on a diet, or maybe not really a diet, just a let’s-not-eat-all-that-Easter-candy-in-one-setting-mkay?-type of thing.  I’m also trying to cut back on the amount of breadish things I eat, which may be why the recipe caught my eye when I was trying to find something for supper.  Apparently I like torture.)

But how could this entire situation end badly, right?

The bat costume has made another appearance.

 

Adele decided to dump her box of beans on the floor a couple of times, then Sebastian thought that looked like an awesome idea, but he did his slowly by dumping cup after cup of rice all over his head.  I’ve swept my floor four times.  I’m still finding rice and beans.

But it’s time for me to shape the pretzels, but I wanted to take a minute to tell you about our trip to the zoo last week. 

He insisted on having his picture taken here.

We had a perfectly lovely time, with only two small meltdowns, one from each child, that were nothing I couldn’t handle, with a little help from my mom.   

I may have over packed on the snacks.

We saw all the animals, including an orangutan who seemed to enjoy staring at people up close.  I admit it was pretty awesome, but I don’t think I enjoyed it as much as the man in the second picture wearing the hat.  He was having a moment with the animal and refused to get up and move and let small children look.  This is why I did not apologize when my children booted him to try and see the animal better.  And it wasn’t like he’d just got there.  He’d been there awhile.

But the most exciting thing we saw, and pretty much the reason we went, in Sebastian’s eyes, was to see the dinosaur exhibit.  My 8-year-old niece really enjoyed it, too.  And I admit, it was pretty cool, and would be especially neat for young kids.  The dinosaurs moved, made noise, and one even spit.  Both my kids waved to them and said hello.   

Everything was great until we got to the end of the exhibit.  This is what we saw:

Would you like a closer look?

Now, really.  Was that necessary?  I know I’m overprotective, but surely the people who made this would know that small children would be walking through and maybe the parents of those children are not ready to explain death to their 3 year old yet.  The blood was a nice touch.  As was the flailing and moaning triceratops, which just so happens to be Sebastian’s favorite dinosaur.

Assholes.

If he asks, Sebastian thinks that the triceratops got up to go find his mom.  After, of course, the t-rex killed him and made him dead. 

That was really the only negative part of the day, besides the poor decision I made to ride the carousel with my kids.  I forgot that they make me dizzy.  I did not throw up, but it took me a minute to find my head once the ride was over.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go shape a bunch of pretzels, then boil them, then bake them before Adele wakes up from her nap.

I'm kind of an idiot sometimes.

Happy Easter!

This is the best photo I could get. I pretty much sums up our morning. Notice that Sebastian has refused to dress up and Adele refuses to sit on the couch. They're holding stuffed bunnies I stayed up late sewing last night. The candy is much more exciting to them, as you'd expect.

Homemade Friday: The best granola bars in the entire world

I think this recipe might be single-handedly responsible for the five pounds I am sure I’ve gained recently, but I don’t know for sure because I refuse to weigh myself because there are some things I just doing really want to know.

It’s either these or the beer I drank all week to distract myself from the fact that Christopher was out of town again.  Also I considered it a reward since no one got the flu like last time. 

I’ve made a batch of these granola bars three times in as many weeks and they have not lost their appeal with repetition.  I’ve used smitten kitchen’s recipes lots, especially recently when I seem to be on a mission to make normally store-bought things at home, and I’ve never been let down. (Going through my archives, I realized that I haven't shown you the homemade goldfish I made, or the oreos.  Woops!)

Helpers! See the stripes?  That's Adele trying to stand on the
chair with Sebastian.  It didn't end well.

For this one, I was looking for something to make for a new mom who already had two daughters before her new little boy arrived.  I figured she’d need something quick and satisfying and nutritious and easy, since more than likely she’d only have half a hand to grab a bite to eat.  Plus I’d been wanting to find a good granola bar recipe anyway.  I think they are a nice thing to have around for an easy snack, be it late night waiting for your husband to get home from his business trip already, or midday when you need a pick-me-up because it’s been nonstop children for years it seems like and all you want to do is have a quick lie down but there’s no way in hell that’s going to happen for HOURS yet.  I’ve also used them for breakfast with fantastic results.  (Those results being I thoroughly enjoyed eating it and it lasted longer than a piece of toast or a cup of coffee.)  (Yes, I do have plans to give them to the children.  When I can stop eating them myself.)

So I was excited when I found this recipe online.  It sounded easy and delicious.  And it was.

I baked these first in an 8x8 pan, but the center wouldn’t set before the edges darkened too much for my taste, which may be the fault of my oven.  I had better results using a 9x13 pan.  She offers suggestions on her website on how to avoid the crumbling when you cut the bars, which I kind of wish I’d read beforehand.  I believe I’ve mentioned that I have a hard time reading an entire recipe.  I don’t know what my problem is either. 

For my bars I used walnuts, pecans, raisins, dried blueberries, cranberries and cherries, and dark chocolate chips.  I didn’t have any coconut, but I think that would be delicious.  I also made them one time using the 2 tablespoons of corn syrup, but that was all I had so the other two times I made it I just used all honey.  I didn’t notice a difference.

Highly recommended recipe.  You should make them.

(Would it be easier if I posted the recipe here instead of just linking to it?  I never know if I should do that as it’s not technically my recipe.  But maybe since I link to it it wouldn’t be a problem?  Anybody know?)