The margarita is completely Paleo so it balances out

I am currently snacking on animal crackers that I found in the bottom
of my purse.  I chaperoned my son's zoo field trip yesterday and one of the little boys decided he was completely done with his snack and so here, lady, hold this for me and also buy me an icee.  (I didn't buy him an icee.)

I call this one 'Sebastian at the zoo.'

I blame the (totally non-paleo) animal cracker consumption on my current coma-like state, which I blame on my husband.

He was out of town for the past few days and so hasn't been home to tell me to put down the margarita and go to bed.

I kind of like staying up late.  It's quiet, I'm alone.  I can sew in peace without my daughter 'helping' by holding the little wheel turny thing (the scientific name, obviously) that makes the sewing machine sew, thus stopping any progress.  Or without my son randomly switching out my bobbin thread because "blue is my favorite color, Mom."

Last night was probably not the best time to stay up extra late as I'd already stayed up extra late the night before.  But I didn't listen to myself because I was soclose to finishing a project.  So I ignored my exhaustion and set up the kindle to play episodes of Ripper Street on Netflix and sewed one and a half shirts.  (The half was already halfway finished before I started yesterday.  Because I'd already stayed up extra late the night before working on it.)

I told myself the entire time I was sitting there that I would regret staying up, that I needed to get to bed because tomorrow (now today) would be so much harder and also I'd have to face getting two kids ready by myself plus I needed a shower and couldn't fake it by just putting up my hair because I'd already done that one day and couldn't do it for two in a row.

So I went to sleep at 11:30 and woke up before 5 for no reason at all other than my body hates me.  Or maybe it doesn't hate me, maybe it's like a dog that can sense storms coming and woke me up early so I would be prepared for the horrible hail/wind/rain/thunder/lightning episode we were blessed with at 5:06 a.m.  My daughter woke up scared from the pre-storm lightning so I brought her downstairs and then the hail slammed against my bedroom window so loudly that I seriously thought it was going to shatter all over us.  I didn't want to leave Adele to go get Sebastian, who I was sure was peacefully sleeping and oblivious.

Once it calmed down, however, I checked on him and found him up and scared and so felt like a horrible mother.  I brought him downstairs, too, so we all cuddled together for about 20 minutes that were filled with kicks and jumps and hugs and kisses until  I couldn't take it anymore and got up to take a shower.

So really I can't be blamed for the animal crackers, is what I'm saying.

Or for the copious amounts of caffeine I will be partaking in today.

(I'm currently listening to Lou Reed's Walk On the Wild Side and it makes me feel things.  Probably because I'm in a coma.)

(Here is a picture of one of the shirts I finished last night.  It's the Tiny Pocket Tank by Grainline Studio.  I'm only showing you now because I want you all to admit that I am the queen of Me Made May photos as I take them in poor lighting using my dirty bathroom mirror, which I like to refer to as 'the artistic way'.)

It's Paleoriffic

I haven't mentioned too much about being a Paleo diet follower here, if only because I don't feel like I follow it as well as I actually should because homemade pizza and cobbler and pie and wine and beer.

However, it actually is a large part of our life and I'm a big supporter, even if I enjoy our weekly Friday Homemade Pizza and a Movie Night.

We started this diet last summer when Chris was training for a triathlon.  We both wanted something that helped us feel better.  I started small, finding recipes that sounded good and easy. And then I bought a cookbook.  Then another one.  And another one.  And maybe another one just because.  I love them.  I have entirely too many, but in my defense, Christopher, most of them were free downloads.

My favorite book, hands down, is Practical Paleo.  It's a good starting point, describing what is happening in my stomach and why the foods I was eating were creating havoc IN MAH BELLAY. (Can I get a 'what up!' for super old movie references?)

It seems a bit overwhelming at first, but once you get used to finding food to cook that doesn't include all the stuff that upsets your stomach, it's actually much easier than you think.

And we aren't strictly paleo (see above.)  We also include dairy.  I won't drink a glass of milk because of how it makes me feel, but I do eat yogurt and drink kefir - both homemade from milk I get from my sister's cow.  They're stupid easy to make.

Check out Courtney's post on crockpot yogurt here.  Even if you don't have access to fresh, raw milk, you can easily use a gallon of milk from the store.  I like to strain my yogurt for hours and hours and hours to have a thick, greek yogurt, that's almost, but not quite, cream cheese.

Kefir is made by putting kefir grains in a jar, pouring milk over them, covering it with butter muslin or a coffee filter and waiting.  Strain out the grains and you have kefir.  Easy, delicious, healthy.

If you're curious, here is what I eat:

For breakfast, these days because it's much easier, I'll have a Larabar.  They're delicious and filling and only have 3 or 4 real! live! pronounceable! recognizable! ingredients!

When I have more time I also like to make smoothies.  This is my favorite:

Ridiculously Delicious Smoothie
-handful of ice
-1/2 cup of frozen fruit (I like mango)
-1 banana
-1/4-1/2 avocado
-1 cup of kefir
-multiple giant handfuls of greens - either kale or spinach
-sometimes I put in a scoop of vanilla protein power (not paleo) or chia seeds (adored by paleo people)
-whatever other vegetables I find - sometimes carrots, sometimes cucumbers
-water to make it all blend nicely

I'll drink half of this for breakfast, and the other half for lunch.  They are surprisingly filling and so delicious that I crave them.  Or maybe my body is craving the kale.  Whichever.  If I plan on eating something else for lunch then I'll half that recipe.  But usually my husband has taken any leftovers we have and I get squat.

If I don't have the smoothie or leftovers for lunch then I'll usually have eggs and kale.  I saute kale with coconut oil, salt and pepper until it's wilted and the edges are crispy, then I'll fry a couple of eggs and eat them together with hot sauce.

Dinners consist of a meat and a couple of vegetables.  The kids usually eat what we do for dinner - sometimes I'll give them toast or rice in addition, though.  Adele is pretty game to try new foods - night before last we ate cauliflower rice with italian sausage, red peppers and parsley.  It was absolutely delicious and she all but licked her bowl.  Sebastian, on the other hand, has formed some opinions about food and most of them are "That's gross.  I don't like that." He has to try everything, and I don't make him a separate meal, so hopefully, eventually he'll enlarge his food repertoire.

We don't make our kids eat paleo.  As I said, for the most part they eat what we eat for dinner, but they eat cereal or toast for breakfast, and I'm not going to stand between Sebastian and his peanut butter sandwiches for lunch.  I attempted to get him used to paleo bread, but it didn't go over well.  So for now I make wheat bread for him and Adele and don't worry about it too much.  They're good.  They're healthy.  They love chicken nuggets, but they also love apples and blueberries and blackberries and can eat their weight in cucumbers and broccoli.

On Fridays I make pizza, and sometimes a cobbler because my husband asks for dessert and also because I love cobbler.  They are not paleo in the least, but I also do not care.

Saturdays and Sundays are also a bit relaxed.  We're still mostly there on Saturday, but sometimes add in leftover cobbler and/or wine.  Sometimes I'll make some type of Paleo dessert so I don't feel too guilty. Sundays we're also mostly paleo, except for dinner.  Either it's at my parent's house and it's a free-for-all, or it's at home and we have a meal with some kind of non-paleo side.  And maybe cobbler.

So that's how we do it, for the most part.  Yes we cheat; no we are not crazy strict.

Mostly we want to feel good.  And this way of eating helps with that.

(The cobbler and wine help my emotions feel good so they can stay.)

If you'll excuse me I have to go hippie up my lifestyle now

I probably shouldn't be taking the time to blog because my house looks like life exploded inside of it in the form of unmade beds and toys and random dishes and Duplos all over every room because a grumpy little girl threw them at me. 

Also I've scheduled myself to can a bunch of crushed tomatoes this afternoon, thanks to my parents and their abundance of romas that they are willing to share.  And I'm making yogurt as soon as the milk thaws.  And I want to try coconut milk yogurt on account of all the paleo that's happening in our lives right now.  Also I'm making Quark for Chris' mom, which for those of you who have no idea what it is, much like myself before my German mother-in-law, it's a sort of yogurt-cheese-thing that can be used to make cakes (Quark-Sahne Cake!) or savory dishes. 

First day of kindercamp.  Before he left me on the bus
and I went inside and forced myself not to throw up or
cry, because MY BABY!

And tonight is Sebastian's open house for kindergarten (!!!!!!!!).  He went to kinder-camp last week to get him used to his classroom and teacher and general school-related atmosphere.  He insisted on riding the bus, which I thought I was okay with until I put him on the bus and my stomach dropped and I felt like I didn't give him enough of a goodbye and my heart hurt because I wasn't going to be walking him into school and you better believe I won't be making that mistake the first day of actual school, though now that he's already ridden the bus he's questioning why I have to drive him. 

As his father told him, "IT'S FOR YOUR MOTHER, CHILD."

And then when it was time for him to leave school I sat on the porch to wait for the bus to drop him off.  And then I waited some more.  And even more.  And 45 minutes after he was let out of kindercamp that is all of FIVE WHOLE MINUTES from our house I started calling the school.  But unfortunately I was not unique and I'm assuming that all the other mothers of bus riders had the same hyperventilating worry and the phone was busy the entire 12 times I called.

Oh yes I did.

But he made it home fine, if an hour and ten minutes after camp ended. BUT WHO'S COUNTING?

To compensate for my stress level I took the kids out to McDonalds.  I ate a quarter pounder with bacon.  At least the bacon was paleo, I guess.

So tonight I will meet Sebastian's teacher and attempt not to cry when I see the room where he will be spending all of his time away from me.  I think he's a little nervous, too.  We've had some behavior issues, and then this morning he told me he had a bad dream where I drove away from him and the school bus left him and he had to find his own way home.

I told him (again) that he doesn't have to ride the bus, that I will drive him if he'd prefer, but he told me that IT WAS JUST A DREAM, MOM.  IT WASN'T REAL.

He's also been letting me kiss him without smacking me in the face, so that's been nice.  Although he tells me every time that he doesn't like kisses because they are gross.

So to sum up, I'm batshit crazy on account of all the Hippie Homesteading I'm doing to distract myself from the fact that I'm batshit crazy because my oldest baby is starting kindergarten in two days.

(Let's talk about Kombucha and Kefir next time!  Hippies Rule!)

Let's catch up, shall we?

I seem to be neglecting this space.  And it's not like I don't have things to say.  I always have things to say.  And I've got lots I've wanted to share with you.  But this summer has been pretty full of Doing Things, which is marvelous, but doesn't leave much time for blogging.

I've been wanting to share lots of things with you, like how Adele has napped by herself, without me rocking her, for the past couple of weeks, which now that I've written it down will be the end of that, of course.

Or like how we've gone again to Huber's Orchard, and had a good time despite the exhausted kids who stayed up late backyard camping with their dad.

Or how we have been spending at least two nights a week swimming and we're all brown and waterlogged but are having a blast and how I decided to say screw it, I want a tan stomach so I'm wearing a bikini no matter what people think of how I look in it.

Or the fact that my diet is about 75 percent Paleo now, in the hopes of feeling better and having more energy.  I don't worry about the diet when I eat at someone else's house because at this point it's too much trouble.

But I think it's working out well.  After the first initial days of feeling like crap as I dealt with carb and sugar withdrawal, I'm doing well.  But I woke up last night for a couple of hours and am feeling it today.  But it's not as bad as usual when I don't sleep.  I'm grouchy and short tempered, but I do seem to be handling it with a bit more grace than usual.  The only real, noticable effect is my need to bake.  It's what happens to me when I'm exhausted.  Baking as therapy, you know?  So I've made a Paleo breakfast bake with eggs and cinnamon and almond flour and honey that the kids loved; and a loaf of Paleo Bread that my kids weren't all that fond of.  But I ate it and it was delicious.  Weirdos.

This new way of eating has required a lot of research, which I happily do, and it's also required a lot of from-scratch cooking, which I do anyway.  But I'm at the point where I can't stop looking up new recipes, or buying new cookbooks.  It's fascinating to me.

Let's see.  What else?

I got a sunburn on my back.  It hurts and itches at the same time.

Our garden is growing really well in spite of the fact that we bought a pack of cucumbers that turned out to be squash and if you know anything about squash plants, you know that they take over everything and are huge and don't leave room for much else.  But we've still gotten blueberries and tomatoes and cucumbers and squash (obviously) and radishes and any type of herb you can think of; and we've got some onions and green peppers growing.

It's a fantastic sight.

I think that's all for now.  I'm going to try to rest while Adele is napping and Sebastian is distracted with the 1966 version of Batman.

(Don't make fun of me for being a part of the Paleo Lifestyle.  And I promise not to say anything else like 'the Paleo Lifestyle.')